Is there still hope?
by Lindsay1993
Summary: Kensi is kidnapped and the team tries to find her. But what will happen after two years of searching?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; Hey everyone! So this is my first fanfiction and I hope you all like it. I also hope there aren't to much/any mistakes in it because my first language is german.  
>So here you go!<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

She openend her eyes when she heard something in her living room and she immediatley reached for her weapon that was placed on the nightstand. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest while she tiptoed to her bedroom door. Before she could do anything else she heard someone yelling in pain and then a loud thud.

_Deeks! What did you do this time?  
><em>

The detective fell asleep on her couch last night after they had a couple of beers and some movies. It was a funny evening and she was glad that he had shown up. Otherwise she would have thought about their last case. It was a horrible one. The father, a Petty Officer, was killed after he had to watch some guys raping and killing his wife and daughter. She couldn't get rid of the crime scene photos until Deeks came around. Another groan from the living room brought her back to presence.

She opened the door and ran through the hallway into the living room. Deeks lay unconscious on the floor next to the couch bleeding from a headwound. She tried to switch the lights on but it didn't work.  
>It looked like he fell from the couch hitting his head on the table. Kneeling down next to him she took a shirt that lay on the table and pressed it to the wound. He groaned as the fabric made contact with his head and his eyes fluttered open.<p>

"Kensi, -" He tried to speak but Kensi cut him off.  
>"Shh. Don't speak. Your bleeding from a headwound."<p>

She looked down and could barely see his eyes because it was so dark. But she could see the worry and fear in his eyes and that confused her. _Why was he worried about her? He was the one bleeding not her.  
><em>Before she could ask him she felt a strong arm around her throat and was thrown to the ground. The air left her body as she hit the floor and stars danced in front of her eyes.

"Kensi!"  
>Deeks tried to sit up to help her but the attacker drew his gun and aimed it at Deeks.<br>Kensi jumped to her feet and swayed for a moment. Then she punched the guy in the jaw. He stumbled but didn't let go of the weapon. Kensi tackled him again. Together they rolled over her carpet fighting. Deeks could only watch in horror as the guy punched Kensi. After minutes of fighting they enventually let go of eachother. Her jaw was slightly swollen and she had scratches everywhere. The attacker ones again aimed the gun he had still in his hand at Deeks who just couldn't move.

His mind was blank as he watched Kensi while she tried to sit up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was silent for a few seconds before a bullet ripped through the air. Deeks waited for the pain but it wasn't coming. So he opened his eyes a bit only to see Kensi lying right before him in a pool of blood.

_Kensi! No this can't be happening. She took the bullet for him and saved his life the second time in a few minutes! No!_

Finally he was able to move again. He bent over Kensi. She had her eyes closed and he could see the pain written all over her face. Just then the man who had watched with a smirk on his face pistol whipped him. He fell backwards to the ground and the last thing he saw was the attacker who carried Kensi over his shoulder out of the appartment. _Oh my god. Kensi! I'm so sorry. We'll find you.  
><em>Then he blacked out.

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><p><strong>AN ; So what do you guys think about? Please leave a review :)**_  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the many reviews! So here is the next chapter. Hope you guys like it.**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"Deeks! Come on, wake up!"

The voice was familiar that much he could tell but his mind was to foggy to focus. A pictue of a bleeding Kensi came to his mind. Why was she bleeding? It followed more pictues. Her mismatched eyes above him, Kensi fighting with a guy and the last image was Kensi being carried out of her apartment...  
>He began to panic because he needed to find her yet he couldn't move.<p>

_Damn it! Come on Deeks. You promised her. Oh Kensi I hope_ you're_ okay._

"Deeks!"

This time he was able to tell who was calling him. It was Sam's voice and he sounded worried. He forced his eyes to open only to shut them as the bright light hurt his eyes.

"Welcome back Mr. Deeks."

_Hetty? Was he in the hospital again?_

He opened his eys again and saw Callen and Sam kneeling next to him. Hetty was at his feet. Around them a CSU collected evidence and took photos of Kensi's living room. Three faces with worry written all over them watched him as he sat up.

He stared at the now dried blood in front of him where Kensi had been shot.

_How long had he been unconscious ?_

"Mr. Deeks, would you be so kind to explain what has happened here?"

Hetty pointed to the stain of blood on the carpet and refered to the fact that he had lain unconsious in Kensi's living room while she was nowhere to be seen. But he could just continue to stare at her blood, unable to move or speak.

"Deeks! We really need to know and we need to know it now."

Callens urgent voice snapped him out of his trance. He tried to stand up but a wave of nausea overcame him so he stayed on the ground.

"After work I went over to Kensi's. We would watch some movies, order some food and drink some beers. Eventually I fell asleep on her couch. Next thing I know is someone hitting my head and I blacked out. Then Kensi was there pressing a shirt to my wound. Before I could warn her that there was someone in the apartment he had grabbed her and had thrown her to the ground. I... I wasn't able to help her. It's my fault."

Tears rolled down his face. He tried to hide them but he didn't really care if they saw. The only thing on his mind was Kensi. He just couldn't forget the look of pain on her beautiful face.

"No, you couldn't have done anything. So don't blame yourself Mr. Deeks."

"I'm her _partner_. I _should _have done something!"

"Tell us what happened next." Hetty's voice was as calm as ever.

"I don't know. There are just bits and pieces. Kensi's swollen face and the gun pointed at me. Then Kensi bleeding in front of me. He pistol whipped me and I blacked out while he carried her outside."

He couldn't look at them. Her friends and family and he was the one responsible for this mess. He groaned as he noticed the pain in his head that he didn't knew was there til now. Callen and Sam looked at him.

"Are you okay?"

"I was hit and my partner is missing! What do you think? So no, I'm not okay." Deeks shot him an angry glare.

"Mr. Callen make sure Mr. Deeks goes to the hospital and then go back to OPS."

"But Hetty - "

"No buts Mr Deeks."

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><p>"Eric what do we have?"<p>

Callen, Deeks and Sam entered the room. Hetty was already there. Eric put on the footage of the cameras in Kensi's street. They all saw a black van stopping in front of her apartment. A man opened the door and went through the garden. He picked the lock and disappeared inside. Eric pushed the fast forward button.

"Stop!" They all shouted together.

The man had appeared again. He carried Kensi over his shoulder and threw her into the back of his van. Then he drove off.

"Eric run the van through Kaleidoskope. Sam, Deeks and me will go through case files to find out if this might have to do something with an old case."

With that the three man left the room. Deeks stopped in the door frame and turned around.

"Hetty, can speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure Mr. Deeks. Let's go to my office."

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><p><strong>What does Deeks wanna tell Hetty? Find out in the next chapter ;) I would be pleased by some reviews!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**So here you go! I wrote this during school today so I hope you'll like and again I'm sorry for any mistakes I might have made. But always remember I'm just a 17 year old german girl =)  
><strong>**Thank you all so much for the story alerts and reviews! And you all are free to tell me my mistakes so I hopefully don't make them again ;) **

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><p>"How may I help you Mr Deeks?"<p>

Hetty sat down behind her desk while Deeks took a seat in one of the chairs that were standing in front of it. He placed the papers he took out of his desk drawer, before he had followed Hetty to her office. She gave him an incredulous gaze.

"And you think this is the right moment for this?"

"Kind of. I know Kensi had just been taken and maybe we'll find her soon. But what if not? What if LAPD calls me back? I wouldn't be able to go back if Kensi is still missing. She needs me...us looking for her. So yes this is the right moment for this. It made me realize how much I care for her and this whole team. It made me realize that I belong here. I want to bring her back and I can't do that if LAPD calls me back."

She nods in understanding. Kensi was like the daughter she never had. She cared for her and she could understand Deeks fear not to be there for her in case she would need him because LAPD had called him. She had never fully understood why Deeks would stay as a LAPD cop even though he obviously wasn't welcome there.

"So, Mr Deeks, your badge and gun please. Oh, and I will take care of the LAPD for you."

"My gun?"

He loved his gun. It has saved him a couple of times. And he linked some memories to it. Memories of Kensi. And now he should give it up? He knew it was only a gun, a piece of metal but still...

"Yes, your gun. I know it has done you good services but if you want to become a full NCIS agent you need to give it back to LAPD. You'll get the same weapon as the other agents in return."

He drew his gun out of his waistband and put it on Hetty's desk together with his badge. _For Kensi,_ he thought. _I would do anything for her._

Hetty took something out of her desk drawer and placed it in front of Deeks. It was a new badge and a gun. His new gun.

"You already have a badge for me?" _That women is unbelivable yet scary!_

"Of course, Mr Deeks. I knew it would take you some time but you would sign them eventually. Congratulations are in order I think. So take your new stuff and go help you corworkers with the files."

She smiled at him. He got up, still confused that Hetty had known he would sign those papers before he had. Her voice pulled him out of his thought as he went through the door and he turned around.

"We'll find her and always remember she is strong."

He smiled at her attempt to comfort him.

"I know Hetty. She is the strongest women, hell even the strongest human being, I've ever met. Thank you Hetty."

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><p>She woke up to a pounding headache. It was cold and she shivered. <em>Why was her bed this hard?<em>

As she tried to move she felt the chains holding her feet and hands in place. She lay in a dark room without windows and she couldn't spot a door either. She couldn't even say how big the room was._ How long had she been unconscious? _She began to panic as the first images of Deeks bleeding and being pistol whipped crossed her mind._ Is Deeks here as well? God, she hoped not._

"Deeks?"

Her voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper. She tried it again just in case he hadn't heard her the first time.

"Deeks?"

"Ah, you're awake. I'm sorry to disaappoint you but the detective is not here. I can assure you he's alive though."

She was startled but didn't show it. Relief flooded through her body because Deeks was safe. He moved from the corner of the dark room to stand above her. The lights were switched on and she shut her eyes because of the bright light. And now she could also feel a dull ache in her upper body. _What the hell?  
><em>She opened her eyes and looked down her body. Her shirt was gone replaced by white bandages that were becoming red over her right breast. Right, she remembered jumping in front of Deeks taking the bullet that was meant to hurt him. She only could imagine what Deeks was going through. He would blame himself like he always does.

"What do you want from me?" Kensi said through gritted teeth.

"You'll find that out...someday."

He turned around to leave.

"Could I at least get a sweater ? It's rather cold in here."

She tried to sound pissed instead of weak. The man turned around with a smirk on his face.  
>He shook his head and with that he switched off the lights and left the room.<p>

"Yeah that's what I thought! This hotel sucks!"

Kensi yelled after him with her voice full of sarcasm.

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><p>It was early in the next morning and the team was fast asleep at their desks after they had worked without a break. Hetty took a nap on the couch in Nate's old office. Even Nell and Eric have fallen asleep in their seats. A loud beeping made them both jump out of their chairs.<p>

"What?"

"Eric! We've got something."

By that Eric was out of the room in a second to get Hetty and the team while Nell looked what they've got.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review. I always like to read them!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

The doors to the tech room opened and the team plus Hetty stormed inside. Eric took a seat in his chair while the agents and Hetty stood in the middle of the room facing the big plasma screen.

"Eric what have you got?" Callens voice was tense.

"The evidence that has been collected from the crime seen is useless. The DNA test only confirmed that it's Kensis blood. But we knew that. No evidence that says that there was a stranger in the appartment. No DNA, no hair and no fingerprints."

Sam released an angry groan. Deeks sighed and sounded disappointed as he spoke.

"So he's a professional."

"But we've got something else. Kaleidoskope found the van. Right now it's standing in a parking spot in Malibu."

He pulled a map on the screen while he spoke. It showed a read dot on the Zuma Beach parking lot.

"Adress is already on your phones."

"Thanks Eric lets go."

The three man left the room and headed towards Sam's Challenger.

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><p>She didn't know if it was day or night. The man hasn't come back yet and she was getting really hungry and thirsty. She wondered if her team was already searching her. <em>Of course they are. Deeks would have told them by now and together they would do anything they could to find her, Kensi.<br>_She mentally slapped herself for even thinking they wouldn't try to find her. To Sam and Callen she was like a little sister so they would turn everything in LA upside down if they had to. And they wouldn't stop til they had found her – dead or alive. She was pulled out of her thoughts as the door opened and the lights were switched on.

"You're awake."

She remained quiet. For the first time since she was taken, she really looked at him. He was as tall as Nate was and had a lot of muscels almost like Sam. His hair was black and cut short like a marines haircut. The green eyes looked at her curious.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was soft and caring and he really sounded interested.

She fought hard against the urge to shook her head in disbelief. He had chained her. Her entire body was on fire and she had a bullet hole in her chest. She has probably been here for quite a while not able to warm herself or to eat or drink something.

"What do you think? I'm chained to an ice cold stone floor. It's really uncomfortable. Oh, and I haven't eaten since I'm here neither did I drink. So yeah, I'm fine don't worry."

She knew she shouldn't provocate him, she should stay calm and shouldn't make him angry. That's what she had learned in her training. But right now she was pissed and he didn't look dangerous or crazy. He hasn't even touched her since she she had woken up for the first time. Normally agents were kidnapped for information and they often were tortured. She was sure that he knew who she was at least he knew Deeks was a detective. He tensed and his eyes darkened with anger. Maybe he was crazy after all.

Instead of hurting her or yelling at Kensi he turned around and left the room leaving the door open and the light turned on. After a couple of minutes he came back with all the stuff you need to take a blood sample. He kneeled next to her. Kensi could'nt see him properly because her hands were chained above her head.

"What do you want?" No answer.

_Great,_Kensi thought. Maybe she shouldn't have given such an stupid answer a couple of minutes ago. She felt a little prick in her right arm. He was taking blood from her. A couple of minutes passed and she thought that it was getting colder from minute to minute and she started to feel dizzy. _Oh my god. He is letting me blead to death!, _Kensi thought as she started to panic. She tried to fight but she was becoming weaker by the second. She blacked out eventually.

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><p>The van had been empty. There had been some blood stains so the van was brought to NCIS. Deeks, Sam and Callen were disappointed and depressed. Kensi had been kidnapped two days ago. They were going through old files again while Hetty made a few calls to demand any favor that could help. They haven't found anything yet.<p>

"I need to tell you something."

Sam and Callen looked up from their files and stared at Deeks.

"You finally want to admit to us that you and Kensi are dating or even a couple? And that we need to find her soon?", Callen said.

"What? No! I mean yes we need to find her but were not dating. We're just partners and friends. No, I...uh...have resigned from LAPD. I'm an agend now."

The older agents both looked shooked.

"You did what? Are you serious?", Sam asked.

"Yeah I'm serious. I didn't like the thought of LAPD calling me back while Kensi needs me...us...this team looking for her."

Sam and Callen nodded in understanding.

"You know, Kensi will probably kill you for not telling her first."

Callen smirked and Sam and Deeks shuckled slightly. Hetty who had watched the conversation had a little smile on her face. Eric's whistle made them all jump in theirs seats.

"Guys you might want to come up here."

He turned around and walked back into his and Nell's empire. The three agents and Hetty hurried up the stairs and into the tech room. They stopped dead in their tracks as they spotted what was on the big plasma screen.

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><p><strong>Hope you all like it. I wish a merry christmas and happy new year to everyone out there! <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**So here is the next chapter! I'm sorry that it took me so long but I found out that I can't write properly when I'm not writing during a school lesson :D :D And I also turned 18 during the holidays so there wasn't so much time to write...  
>So here you go! Hope you like it.<strong>

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><p>There on the big plasma screen was a red shirt. A red shirt that once had been white. It was the shirt Kensi had worn the night she was taken. The three agents just stood there, shocked and worried for their friend. Eric was the one who spoke first.<p>

"The guys, who had looked through the van found this underneath a false bottom in the trunk. DNA test confirmed that it is Kensi's blood."

After spending hours of taking the van apart piece by piece by themselves, the agents were frustrated and they felt useless. Apart from her shirt they had nothing. No clue where she was. Sam went to the gym to let out his anger and frustration on a punching bag.

Deeks said his goodbye to Callen and then headed home. They had no lead so he could either spent the whole night in Ops more or less doing nothing or he could go home getting some rest and then be 100% when Kensi needs him. And he needed to feed Monty as well.

But before he went home he quickly stopped at Kensi's apartment just to check if everything was okay. Opening his appartment door, he grabbed his mail and took it to the kitchen where he placed it next to the fridge. He opened it and took a beer, taking the mail with him he headed for the couch.

Taking a sip of his beer he placed himself on the couch and closed his eyes. Images of Kensi crossed his mind. Kensi standing in a room with red laser beams, Kensi in a tight black dress taking a suspect down. Kensi mocking him. He grinned at that. She was always mocking him and he really missed that. Monty whined next to him.

"Alright Monty."

He threw the mail onto his coffee table and got up to feed the dog. When he returned from the kitchen something on the table caught his attention. A white envelope is nothing unusual but what was written on it was definetly unusual.

Agent Marty Deeks

The fact that someone out there knew WHO he was and WHERE he lived put him on high alert. And that this someone even knew that was an agent now...

His instincts kicked in and he put a pair of gloves on before he opened the envelope. A photo and a sheet of paper fell out. He hesitated before he took a look at the photo. He gasped for air and had to sit down on the couch. It showed Kensi, her feet and hands cuffed and chained to the floor. She just lay there her eyes closed. Her shirt was gone but her upper body was wrapped in bandages which appeard to be soaked in blood. She looked so very pale and vulnerable. He took the paper and unfolded it and started to read.

_How did you feel seeing Kensi taking the bullet that was ment for you? Seeing your partner _

_ suffer? As you has been at her apartment looking like shit – obviously you haven't been  
>sleeping well – I don't think you take it well. I suppose you've already found her shirt in that<em>

_ van. You're wondering how I know all that, don't you? I wont' tell you now...maybe some_

_ day. But I'll tell you another secret. When she woke up and thought she would be alone, she  
>called your name... I told her that you're alive and in hospitel but that I might have other <em>

_ plans for you if she makes trouble. She didn't defend herself and still doesn't...when I do/did  
>things to her. You might get an idea of what I did to her when you run a tox screen on the red<br>ink. Oh well I can tell you as well. It's blood. HER blood!  
><em>_  
>Have a nice day!<em>

_P.S.: Don't bother scanning the envelope, photo or letter for finger prints._

Deeks mind was a mess. There were so many thought going through it. He blamed himself, he was angry and he was scared for Kensi's life.  
>The first clear thought that came was that he had to call Callen. So he dialed his number but while he was witing for the team leader to pick up he took another look at the photo and good sick. He dropped the phone and went for the bathroom.<p>

Kensi awoke in total darkness. Again. She had no idea what time it was or how lond she had been here. The pain in her chest was unbearable. _Am I still alive? _Because the last thing she could remember was that her captor took so much blood from her that she had blacked out. But it wouldn't be dark and her chest definetly wouldn't hurt that much if she was dead. Her thoughts wandered to Deeks and her team. She wondered how they would cope with all that. It sure reminded them of Dom. The door burst open and the bright light that floded into the room hurt her eyes, so she shut them. She heard him coming closer and then she heard him speak.

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><p>"Good morning Kensi. You'll be here for some time so I thought you would appreciate a more comfortable room. So I'll remove the chains but you feet and hands remain cuffed. One wrong move and your friend will suffer."<p>

She heard him removing the chains and then she could feel his hand on her arms as he pulled her up. Pain shot through her entire body as he put her over his shoulder.

"I can walk you know."

"I don't think so. You've been here for over a week now and you've got weaker due to the bullet wound and loss of blood."

She stayed silent as he carried her along a hallway. Light was floding in through a couple of windows. Outside the sun was shining and she could see a couple of houses. It looked like a suburb of LA. He stoped in front of a wooden door and put her down on her feet while he opened the door.  
>The room was pretty big. She could spot a bed, a closet and a desk. There were also some flowers and a window. But the window was to high to see throug it but at least she had light. She wanted to take a step into the room but she nearly fell because her legs couldn't support her weight.<br>_Damn it!_

He catched her before she hit the ground.

"Told you so."

He helped to the bed and she sat down on it. It was so soft. After lying one week on stone floor she really wasn't suprised how good it felt.  
>She heard the door being closed and locked.<p>

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><p><strong>So what do you think? Please leave a review I really appreciate them =)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**About 6 months later...**

Vance had forced them to put Kensi's case on ice until they would find new evidence or a clue about here whereabouts. So the entire team used the weekends and holidays and every free time to work on her case. Most of the time they couldn't do much and that made them feel useless. A week ago Vance had sent them a replacement for Kensi but he had resigned yesterday. And to be honest the team had not been friendly to him. It had nothing to do with him personally but more with Director Vance.

Deeks lay on the couch in Kensis apartment thinking about her when he heard a knocking on her front door. He expected it to be Callen or Sam or even Hetty. So he was quite surprised to the a LAPD oficcer standing there with a sleeping little girl with brown curly hair in his arms.

"Mr. Blye? I'm Officer Pugh from LAPD. Can I speak to your wife please?"

Deeks opened the front door further to let the man in, unable to speak. The officer carried the sleeping girl to the couch and gently placed her on it. The he sat down beside her and mentioned to him to sit down as well. Deeks had trouble speaking and as he did his voice sounded sad and broken.

"She...Kensi...she is not my wife. My name is Marty Deeks. I'm sorry but Kensi was kidnapped six months ago."

A tear made it's way down his cheek.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Sir."

That was the wrong thing to say.

"She's not dead just because we haven't found her yet!" He nearly screamed.

The officer nods but Deeks could see that he thought that there was no hope. And Deeks couldn't blame him as a cop he knew the statistics. But Deeks was not in the mood to tell the officer that he isn't crazy and that Kensi won't fit in any statistic. That Kensi was stronger than everyone he had met during his life.

He looked over at the sleeping figure of the sleeping girl. She was probably 2 yeaars old and had her brown curly hair in pigtails. Her skin was well tanned and he was sure that if she would open her eyes, two mismatched brown eyes would look back at him. A little smile appeared on his lips as he took her appearance in.

"She looks a little bit like...Kensi. Who is she?"

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you unless you are the next of kin of Ms. Blyey."

"I'm her partner so I have the right to know!"

Deeks nearly shouted but then he didn't want to wake up the toddler. She looked so peaceful.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm only doing my job."

"I know."

Deeks sighed and sat down again his head in his hands. The officer felt sympathy for Deeks.

"Her name is Sophia Mary Parker. Kensi is her aunt. But I'm not sure if Ms. Blye even knows about her half sister. Anyway she was killed in an accident this morning. So that leaves Ms. Blye, who's missing as the only living relative. "

The officer looked sadly down at the little girl besides him.

"What's going to happen with her?"

"I don't know but I think she will have to go in a foster home."

Deeks remembered that bit about Callens childhood that he knew. That knowledge let him made a decision.

"I'll take care of her."

"But Sir, I don't know if I can do that."

"I don't care. I WILL take care of her. I owe it to Kensi I always have her back."

He was sure that he would do EVERYTHING he could to get the custody for Sophia. He just knew her for 20 minutes but she already had him wrapped around her little finger.

"I will have to make some calls. Then we will see."

With that the man reached for his phone and went into the kitchen.

"Whoever you call tell them they should call Henrietta Lange if they want proof that I'm trustworthy."

He really hoped that Hetty would workt that out. _I mean it's Hetty after all!_He slipped over the couch so that he could sit next to Sophia who was still asleep and put his head in his hands. He wanted Kensi back. God did he miss her. Her smile, her smell, their banter and even her punches.

"Mommy?"

The weak and sleepy voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Sophia was awake now and looked confused and scared at him. She held a brown rabbit tight to her chest. Her eyes nearly had the same brown color as Kensis. The scared look was replaced by curiosity.

"Who you?"

"I'm Marty an I'm a friend of Kensi. Do you know your aunt Kensi?"

Little Sophia shook her had. Deeks reached under the table and pulled out a little photo album that Deeks had filled over the last 6 month. In it were photos of Kensi, of them together on the beach, from the Christmas party at OSP and from them undercover as a couple when they had to buy an engagement ring.

Deeks put Sophia on his lap and showed all the pictures. He couldn't stop himself from telling her stories about Kensi. Sophia looked at all the pictures with with interest until she fell asleep again, curled up to his chest. The officer came back into the room and smiled at Deeks.

"Who is this Henrietta Lange? As soon as I mentioned her name my boss agreed without any more questions."

"Sorry man, I can't tell you it's classified."

Deeks looked down at Sophia.

"Anyway, she'll stay with you. But my boss want to speak to you personally in some days because you have to fill out some paperwork. There is some of her stuff in my car. Where do you want me to put it?"

He stood up without waking Sophia who continued to sleep in his arms and patted the shoulder of the officer. "Thanks man."

After they've moved some boxes filled with clothes, toys and other stuff, a cot and a changing table into the apartment the officer left. Deeks put sleeping Sophia in her bed that was currently standing in the living room. It was lunch time when Deeks started to clean the apartment. He had decided that he and Sophia would live in Kensis apartment so she could learn more about her aunt. Well that was what Deeks kept telling himself but he was sure that there were other reasons for him to stay here. The spare room was pretty empty apart from a closet, some cupboards and a bet which he took apart. He would sell it. He put Sophias clothes in the closet and the other stuff in the cupboards.

After all her stuff was moved to her new room apart from Sophia and her bed, he continued with the bathroom and kitchen. There wasn't much to clean he had already done that on a regular basis in the last few months. The only room he hadn't gone into was her bedroom. It felt wrong to go in there moving her stuff but he had to if he wanted to live here. So he removed the old sheets from the bed and put clean ones on. He gathered her stuff from the floor and put it either in the washing machine or in her cupboards or closet.

"Marty?"

Sophia was standing in the door. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"What's the matter princess?" Deeks kneeled down in front of Sophia.

"Want my mommy."

He little body was shaking because of the sobs. Deeks pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.

"I know, princess, I know. How about we put your bed into your new room and the go over to my apartment so I can get some stuff and my dog?"

She wiped her tears away and looked at him with her big brown eyes. He smiled and she nodded slowly. Together they moved her bed to her new room. Well Deeks moved it while she was sitting on it laughing.

He had trouble putting her into her car seat but he managed it.

"We go visit dog?"

He looked in the rearview mirror to see her starring at him.

"Yes we will. Do you like dogs?"

"Dogs cute."

He figured that she won't have any speaking problems if she'd only spend enough time with Hetty. Hetty...He still needed to talk to her.

Monty greeted them at the door of Deeks apartment. He put Sophia down on her feet.

"Sophia this is Monty. Monty Sophia will live with us from now on so be nice to her."

Monty sniffed at Sophia waggling with his tail.

"Good boy. Sophia I'll be right in the next room. Just scream if you need the prince to rescue you from the dragon."

She giggled and then started to stroke Montys belly. He loaded all of his stuff and Monty into his car. And then took Sophia and went to the landlady to tell that he wasn't going to need the apartment anymore. Then they headed towards their new home.

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><p><strong>So what do you think of this chapter and my idea that Kensi has a niece? I really hope you like it =) Have a good day Linds<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! hope you all have a good weekend =) so the fist part of the chapter is also placed about six months after the kidnapping so it would be in the middle of october...  
><strong>**Enjoy reading ;)**

182 DAYS. 182 days since Mark had put her in this room. He had told her to call him Mark after a couple of weeks. She didn't know if it was his real name or just an alias but she didn't really care.

Every 3 days he would come with a bag of food and water for her. She had learned to divide the ood and water so it would be enough for everyday til he would come again. But it was barely enough for her body. It has started to reduce her muscles. She was so weak that she couldn't defend herself and she hated it.

She was Kensi Marie Blye! She was stubborn, strong and independent. Well at least she used to be. Now she was weak and definitely not independent but still stubborn. But to be honest, right now she would do almost everything to get food. Mark hasn't come by for days. Her stomach hurt so much that she slipped in and out of consciousness.

When she awoke the next time Mark was sitting right besides her, watching. He smiled at her but it wasn't the smile she was used to. This one was cold and emotionless and it sent a shiver down her spine.

In her dreams she always saw another smile. A smile that was most of the time more like a goofy grin that made a pair of crystal blue eyes sparkle. She longed to see him, she wanted to be in his strong arms and she wanted him to tell her that she's safe. Sometimes she thought that she could smell him. The mix of his aftershave and the ocean.

"I thought I made myself clear. You're not allowed to think about HIM unless I allow you."

Marks voice was angry. Kensi turned her heard so that she was looking away from him.

"Look at me!"

She didn't, this was the last way for to protest and defend herself. He grabbed her by her arms and dragged her out of the room. He placed her on a steel table and chained her wrists and ankles to it. She looked around and recognized that it was the same room where she had spent the first days and nights.

"I didn't want to do this but you left me no choice."

After hours of torture the metal cuffs were digging into her wrists, pressing against the bones. Her whole body hurt like hell and she had cuts and bruises everywhere. She never knew what he was going to do next. Was he going to press a teaser into her neck of was he going to softly stroke her cheek? Was he going to carve a new gash into her flesh or was he going to tear open an old one?

At the end he had put an IV needle inter her arm and once again she was wondering if he was some kind of doctor. The next days were a blur. After a couple of days she awoke and felt still miserable still a bit stronger. She was back in "her" room and still hooked up on an IV. Something was off but she couldn't put a finger on it.

She pulled the needle out of her arm and stood up. Slowly she went over to the sink and drank some cold water. Afterwards she splashed some water on her face, still trying to figure out what was different. Then it hit her.

The door was open. Obviously Mark didn't think that she would wake up. She tiptoed to the door at least she tried to but her body hurt so much that she could barely control her moves. The hallway was empty. She stepped out of the room and half expected Mark to appear at the end of the hallway.

After trying to calm down her heart, she stumbled towards a door which she hopped would let her out of this house. Suddenly a huge arm came around her neck, cutting of her airway. She wanted to fight but couldn't. There was not enough air reaching her lungs and she had not enough strength left to fight back. She felt dizzy and heard a ringing in her ears.

And then she fell into darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>(Two weeks after Sophia turned up)<strong>

The ringing of his clock woke him. He tried to roll over to hit the snooze button but someone was in his way. He looked down and spotted some brown curls. Sophia was cuddled up against his chest. Her tiny hands were clutching his shirt while she was fast asleep. He remembered her screaming and having a nightmare. So he had took her into his bed to calm her down and she had fallen asleep in his arms.

His clock told him to get ready if he wanted to be at work on time. And he really shouldn't be late after his first day of work after two weeks of vacation. He still needed to tell Hetty and the team about Sophia.

"Wakey, Wakey sleepy-head."

Sophia stirred and he continued to softly call her name while he stroked her back with one of his hands. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"But want sleep Marty."

"I know princess, but I have to work today and I have to take you with me so you will get to know your uncles, aunt and grandmother."

Where did that come from, he wondered. But he could Hetty picture sitting in her chair with Sophia in her lap while reading a book, just like a grandmother would.  
>Deeks smiled down at her and he could tell that she curious.<p>

"They nice?"

"How about we get up and ready while I tell you about them?"

He changed her nappy because she wasn't potty trained yet and then combed her hair and put it in a nice ponytail. She wanted to wear a light blue dress so he dressed her in it. They had breakfast and a short walk with Monty so he could do his business.  
>During the ride to work Deeks still told her about the team and only stopped when they arrived at the mission.<p>

"If they my uncles you my dad?"

Sophia asked as Deeks unbuckled her. He didn't know what to respond.

"If you want me to be you dad then yes."

Sophia smiled at him and stretched her arms out and he picked her up. He could tell that she was nervous because her grip tightened around his neck. Just as they entered the bullpen Sophia spoke.

"Dad wanna go home."

This caused Sam and Callen to look up from their paperwork. They were starring at the little girl ind Deeks arms unable to speak.

"It's okay pumpkin. You wanna guess who is who?"

She nodded and looked intensely at the two shocked partners.

"Uncle Sam and Uncle G."

She first pointed at Sam and then at Callen before looking at Deeks with a questioning look.

"Good girl."

She seemed to be happy that she had been right as a big smile took place on her lips. Before either Deeks or the two other agents could speak, Sophia shouted happily.

"Uncle Eric and Aunti Nell, right Daddy?"

Deeks nodded and looked at the two techs who just looked as confused and shocked as Sam and Callen. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to refer to them like he did when he told Sophia about them. But it was too late for that.

"What is going on here?"

Deeks spun around with Sophia in his arms which caused her to giggle.

"Grandma Hetty!"

Hetty eyed Deeks with this Hetty glare that made Deeks uncomfortable. Sophia seemed to sense that.

"I said somethin wrong?"

"No, pumpkin, you didn't. But I need to talk with Hetty and the others okay? You still tired?"

She nodded and he went over to the couch leaving a confused team behind and gently placed her on it. He covered her with a blanked and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm right over there. So you will be still able to see me okay? If you need me just shout."

She nodded again and closed her eyes. He stood up and went back to the desks.

"Why didn't you tell us that you have a daughter?" Nell blurted out.

"Because she isn't mine. I know that she called me dad and that you probably think that she's Kensi's as well because she looks a lot like Kensi. But Sophia is the two year old daughter of Kensi's half sister who died two weeks ago. She was a single mom so social services where searching for Sophia's next of kin and found Kensi...well her address. I could convince them to let her stay with me. I couldn't bear the thought of her in an orphanage..."

"Of course Mr. Deeks." Hetty looked at him and smiled slightly. "And I expect you to take good care of her."

Deeks nodded and looked over his shoulder to the sleeping figure of Sophia.

"Whats her full name?" Nell wanted to know.

"Sophia Mary Deeks-Blye."

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><p><strong>Hope you all liked it :) And PLEASE leave a reaview. Is it too much to ask for? Maybe I should make a rule that I'll only update if I get more than five reviews...<br>****Linds :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews and story alerts. Evertime I get an email that says I've got a review or an alert I jumping around my room, happy that you guys are actually liking my story :)  
><strong>**As you all know the last chapter was placed during october and this one is a place a month after that. Which means it's november and roughly 8 month after the kidnapping. Enjoy reading :)  
>P.S: this chapter is written for my best friend Jasmin and her boyfriend Daniel :) they are so cute together... <strong>

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><p>He knocked on Jasmin's apartment door. It was late and he felt guilty for leaving Sophia with Jasmin all afternoon. Jasmin was one of Keni's...well his neighbours. She had her own little family. Chirs her son and Daniel her husband. Chris and Sophia were in the same kindergarten class so it hadn't been a surprise that they've become friends. Jasmin had helped Deeks a lot with Sophia during the last month and Deeks was very thankful for that.<p>

"Hey Marty. Come in. Sophia and Chris are in the living room."

"I'm sorry Jasmin, but work-"

"It's okay. Really. Sophia is such a nice girl and she and Chris play so well together."

Deeks smiled thankfully at her. Jasmin was shorter that he was, not as short as Hetty but not much taller. She had long blonde hair and brown eyes. He followed her to the living room where Chris, Sophia, and Daniel were sitting at the table.

Daniel was as tall as Deeks was and he had short blond hair as well but other than Deeks he had green eyes with only a bit of blue and not so much muscles. Chris was the perfect mix of them he had nearly the same eyes as his father just without the blue but the features of his mother.  
>As soon as Sophia spotted Deeks she jumped of the chair and ran over to him.<p>

"Daddy!"

"Hey sunshine!"

He hugged her very tight and she giggled. After he had put her down again she tugged at his hand mentioning him to follow her to the table.

"Look what I draw daddy. You and Monty and Me. And Mommy Kensi." She said exitedly.

He looked down at her drawing. There was one stick figure that he assumed was him due to the blond "hair" on top of the figure. Next to his stick figure was a small stick figure with brown "hair". That must be Sophia. Monty was a brown spot with four lines- sorry legs. They all stood together but there was one stick figure far way from the others. It had brown hair and one eyes was darker and bigger than than the other. It surprised him that Sophia didn't forget that.

"Don't cry daddy."

He hadn't noticed that he was crying until Sophia wiped the tears away. She jumped down and ran out of the room with Chirs hot on her heals.

"Marty, are you okay?" Jasmin asked with concern cleary evidence in her voice.

He shook his head. He still looked down at the picture stroking over the Kensi stick figure.

"Is...is she dead?"

Again he only shook his head.

"Well if she has left you than she is really dumb and-" She was cut off.

"No. She hasn't left. Well she has but not voluntarily. " He took a deep breath before he continued.  
>"She has been kidnapped roughly eight months ago. I couldn't protect her... I failed her. Kensi took the bullet that was meant to kill me and the guy knocked me out. A couple of days later I received a letter which was written with her blood..." His voice broke.<p>

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jasmin spoke again.

"Oh my god! Marty, I'm so sorry and I'm sorry for what I've said."

He looked up and saw tears glistening in her eyes and nodded. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Daddy want home please."

Sophia said while she was running back into the room. He stood up and picked her up in his arms.

"Sure pumpkin."

* * *

><p><span>*Jasmins POV*<span>

About five minutes after Marty and Sophia had left I heard a soft knocking on our apartment door. Daniel was upstairs putting Chris to bed. I opened the door. Sophia was standing outside crying and sobbing really hard. I knelt down in front of her.

"Hey sweetie, what's the matter? Is your daddy okay?"

As I mentioned Marty she cried even louder . I pulled her into my arms and got up walking towards their apartment. The door was open so I knocked on the door frame.

"Hello? Marty?"

Nothing. I entered the apartment with a still crying Sophia in my arms. It was the first time that I actually entered it. Most of the meetings had been at our place or at some park or the beach.

I spotted some pictures on the walls as I was walking down the hallway. They either showed Marty with a beautiful brown haired women or both of them together with another few people. The brown haired women must be Kensi.

_Why weren't there any pictures of them with Sophia?_

__I stepped into the living room and instantly saw why Sophia was so upset. Marty was lying on the floor not moving. I pulled out my cellphone and called 911. After that I placed Sophia on the couch and went over to Marty. I could feel a pulse and sighed in relief.

"Want grandma Hetty." Sophia said between sobs.

She must be really terrified seeing her daddy like this. Sophia kept repeating that he want her grandma. So I took Marty's phone from the coffee table and flipped through his contacts until I've found someone called Hetty L. I dialed the number and after two rings a voice spoke.

"Ah Mr. Deeks what can I do for you?"

" I'm sorry this isn't Marty. I'm Jasmin Holly his neighbour. Are you Sophias grandmother?"

"Yes I am. Did anything happen to Mr. Deeks?"

"Well he unconscious and Sophia just kept saying that she wants her grandmother."

"I'm on my way stay were you are."

I went over to the couch pulling Sophia into my arms.

"Your grandmother is on her way sweetie."

I tried to soothe her as best as I could. As I rocked back an forth with Sophia in my arms. I looked around the room. Here were also pictues of Marty and Kensi and the other people. And some pictures of Marty and Sophia but still none with Kensi and Sophia. I noticed some photos lying on the table. Stopping my movements I bent towards the table to get a better look at them. What I saw made my heart stop.

It was Kensi. She was pale and so very thin. Her clothes were stained with blood as was her skin. She had cuts and bruises everywhere. I felt nauseous.

_Oh my god! No wonder that Marty fainted when he saw this. It's horrible. No it's beyond horrible._

__Without really noticing I had wrapped my arms tighter around Sophia.  
>Tears were streaming down my face.<p>

_What kind of person does that?_

__I mean torturing someone is bad but sending the family pictures of her being tortured is even worse. There was a knock on the front door.

"It's open!"

A tiny women and to paramedics came rushing into the room.

"Mrs. Holly as I assume?"

I nodded. As soon as Sophia heard the woman speak she started to squirm. I released her and she ran over to the woman.

"Grandma Hetty!"

Hetty knelt down and hugged the little girl. The paramedics were working on Marty. Hetty picked up the little girl and together they sat down beside me.

"Mrs. Holly can you tell us what happened?"

I shook my head.

"No he was fine when he picked up Sophia over half an hour ago. I think it is because of the photos."

"Ma'am we bring him to the hospital. It's noting serious we just want to be sure."

Hetty nodded and they put him on a gurney and carried him outside.

"What photos Mrs. Holly?"

"The photos of mommy..."

_Oh my God! She has seen those horrible pictures of her mommy. No child should see that! Poor Sophia, her mommy missing and her daddy in a hospital._

Hetty looked shocked but bent over the table to look at the pictures. I saw her tense as she understood. She cursed.

"Mrs. Holly would you mind taking Sophia with you?"

"No, not at all."

I stood up and took Sophia in my arms who immediately put her arms around my neck. As I started to walk towards the door Hetty called my name again. I turned around to see her standing right in front of me. How does she do that? A second ago she was sitting on the couch.

"Sophia always looks through this before she goes to sleep."

She handed Sophia a little book.

"Thank you grandma Hetty."

"Sure darling. Don't worry about your dad. He'll be alright. Good night."

We went to our apartment. I knocked on the door.

"Jasmin where have you been?"

"I'm sorry Daniel. I'll tell you in a few just have to put Sophia into bed first."

I saw the confusion in his eyes but he let me pass without questioning me further. I went upstairs to our guestroom and dressed Sophia in one of Chris pijamas.

"Jas you stay please?"

She looked so fragile and vulnerable so I placed myself behind her on the bed. She opened the little book. It was filled with photos of Marty, Kensi, Hetty, Sophia, and some other people she didn't know.

"You wanna tell me their names sweetie?"

We went through the book together. She told me that the red haired women was her auntie Nell and that the guy with the glasses was her uncle Eric. The bold guy was uncle sam and the other one uncle G. I stayed with her til she had fallen asleep. I hoped that she had a nice dream that didn't involve the pictures of her mommy.

I bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Good night sweetie."

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><p><strong>So what do you think? Hope you all liked it :) Have I mentioned how much I love it to read your reviews? So please leave one ;)<br>Linds **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I'm back! And I'm so sorry for not updating sooner but school and blablabla =) I won't bother you with excuses so go on and read and please don't forgett to review!  
><strong>**Hope you like it.**

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><p><em>*2 weeks before christmas *<em>

He heard a knock on the door.

"I'm coming!", he shouted while finishing dressing Sophia. Jasmin and he wanted to go shopping for christmas presents. Chris and Sophia would stay with Daniel so they could go shopping in peace. He opened the door.

"Hey Marty." She smiled and hugged him.

"Hey Jas. Sorry that you had to wait, little pumpkin over there wouldn't want to get dressed."

He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder to where Sophia was currently standing.

"It's okay. I'm a little early anyway."

She crossed the room and picked Sophia up and swirled her around.

"You ready to play with Chris, sweetie?"

Sophia instantly stopped giggling. Since Deeks has been released from the hospital, Sophia barely left him. The first days she didn't want to go to kindergarten and he had to take her to work with him.

He went over to take Sophia from Jasmin.

"Hey munchkin, Jasmin and I need to go and buy some stuff. It'll be boring for you. And you know Chris and Daniel. Besides Jasmin will look after me so nothing is gonna happen to me."

Sophia clutched her fists into his shirt and sobbed.

"Want to come with you. Don't want to play with Chris."

Deeks looked at Jasmin who nodded.

Deeks put Sophia in her car seat while Jasmin put the stroller into the trunk. Sophia was on top of her game again and babbled nonsense while Deeks was concentrating on the street.

It was late afternoon when they finished shopping. Sophia was in Deeks arms her head rested on his shoulder, sleeping. Jasmin pushed the stroller which was loaded with all the shopping bags.

"Marty?"

"Yeah Jas?"

"I have to... I want to tell you something."

She looked shyly up at him.

"Alright."

He smiled encouragingly and mentioned to a park bench.

"You wanna sit down?"

She nodded and they headed for the bench. Deeks sat down next to Jasmin, carefully not to wake Sophia who was still sleeping in his arms.

"I don't know if you noticed but Daniel and I are not native americans. We've lived in America for 7 years now."

Deeks was seriously surprised.

"You serious? I haven't noticed. You gonna tell me where you're from?"

"Daniel und ich kommen aus Deutschland."

She smirked at an uterly confused Deeks.

"Whoa...that sounded strange. What did you say?"

"Daniel and I are from Germany. Anyway, but what I wanted to say is that we wanted to invite you and Sophia to join our german christmas party... only if you want to."

"I don't know... I mean I'd love to but I think Hetty and the other guys kinda expect from me to invite them 'cause they are family."

She smiled triumphantly.

"You didn't listen. I said GERMAN christmas party."

He looked confused at her so she explained.

"You know, in Germany we used to go to the church in the afternoon on the 24th of december. Afterwards we would eat a nice dinner home. During the dinner the children would get impatien and they would whine until they were allowed to go into the living room. Christmas songs would play in the background and the whole family would be there. The tree is decorated in gold and red. And then the kids would get their presents..."

Deeks noticed that Jasmin had disappeared in her own childhood memories. And he had to admit that it sounded really nice and he had already decided that he would go.

"Jas?"

"Hm?" She replied and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Sorry, Marty. It's just, I don't know...I like being in America and Daniel and I have Chris and we're happy but sometimes I just miss my family and the places where I grew up."  
>She whipped the tears away. Deeks looped his arm around Jasmin's shoulder and she buried her face in Deeks chest and started to really cry.<p>

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><p><em>24th of december<em>

Chris and Sophia were quietly playing on the living room floor with their new toys. And Daniel, Jasmin and, Deeks were sitting on the couch talking. It had been a really nice day/evening.

At 3 pm Deeks and Sophia had come over and they had eaten some cake together. Afterwards they had went to the playground at the corner of their street. Daniel had stayed there with the kids (Deeks had been surprised that Sophia didn't start crying when she saw him go) while Deeks and Jasmin had went back and started making dinner.

Jasmin had insisted on making Zungenragout. "That's what we always had for Christmas." She had said. It had tasted amazing. While he and Daniel had cleaned all the dirty dishes, Daniel had told him what Zunge means. Deeks was quiet shocked that he had eaten the tongue of a cow, but nevertheless, it had tasted amazing.

Jasmin had then called them into the living room and the kids had unwrapped their presents. And tomorrow the team would come over for christmas. It had been a nice day but it wasn't perfect because a very important person was missing. Kensi wasn't there to celebrate chrismas with him and Sophia and that was not fair. They had finally started to open up and maybe they had become more but then she was taken away from him. So he'll never knew and that made him angry and incredibly sad.

* * *

><p><em>* morning for the 25<em>_th__december*_

There was an envelope lying on the pillow next to her. She still felt dizzy from the night before. Mark had taken blood from her again. She wondered why he took all that blood from her, he must have at least 4 liters by now.

"You haven't opened my present."

Marks voice startled her. She would never admit it out loud, because Kensi Marie Blye didn't get scared but these voice just brought pain as she had learned over the last couple of weeks.

"It's christmas time so I thought a little present would be nice."

He turned around and left. Kensi got herself in a sitting position, not sure if she wanted to open the envelope. But she was too curious in the end. 4 photos fell out of the enevlope onto the pillow.

The first one showed Deeks in HER apartment door a blone women hugging him and he hugged her back. She flipped to the next one.

It showed HER car and Deeks putting a little girl in a car seat while the blonde woman put a stroller in the trunk. She had hoped that Deeks was looking for her, that he wouldn't stop until he had found her either way – dead or alive. But apparently she had been wrong. He had moved on, found a woman with a child, while she was stuck in here. Tears rolled down her face. She couldn't stop them even if she wanted to.

Next picture showed him sitting on a park bench holding the sleeping girl with one arm. The other arm was looped around the woman's shoulder who had burried her face in Deeks chest.

Why would he do this to her? She had thought he was different, that he would never ever leave her. But again, she had been wrong. This realization broke her heart in tiny pieces. The last photo showed the team and that little girl. They looked happy, they were laughing about something the little girl had done.

The thought of her team, her family searching for her had kept her sane. It had made her want to survive this, because she had something to come back to. But now after seeing this pictures...

She just wanted this to end, the memories of Deeks wouldn't help her through the pain anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews =) I love to read them - except for the one that was rather unfriendly. Oh and Probie won Kenobi I'll review everything I read from now on :-)  
><strong>**So I hope you'll like this one. And pleae review or tell me what I can do better.  
>Last chapter was christmas 2012<strong>

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><p><em>15th of May 2013<em>

"Daddy! Daddy, daddy, daddy, DADDY! Wake up!"

Sophia shouted excitedly. Deeks groaned in response and rolled over to look at his phone. 6.47 AM.

"Daddy! Wake up."

By now Sophia had climbed onto the bed and was jumping up and down around him.

"Good morning sunshine" He replied sleepily. "Why are you in such an awful good mood this morning?"

Sophia stopped jumping and looked seriously at him.

"Because, daddy, today is my birthday!"

"It is?" He smirked.

"Daddy! You forgot?" He saw unshed tears in her eyes.

"I was just joking munchkin. How could I forget your birthday?"

Sophia climbed on his lap and snuggled up to his chest.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too munchkin."

They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, Deeks stroking Sophia's hair. He was the first one to speak.

"How about we eat breakfast and then take Monty for a quick walk?"

She looked up at him with big brown eyes. "And when do I get my presents?"

They ate pancakes for breakfast and then had a quick walk with Monty.

"You ready to go?" Deeks asked Sophia who was coming back into the living room area with her kindergarten bag. She nodded and he picked her up. Outside he placed her in her car seat and started driving. He noticed that Sophia looked confused as she looked out of the window.

"You're not going to kindergarten today. I have a surprise for you."

He parked the car a block from the mission and blindfolded her and then walked to the mission with her in his arms.

The whole team was gathered in the bullpen. A cake with 3 candles along with presents covered his desk. He brought his finger to his mouth so the team would stay quiet.

"I'm putting you down, princess, and then I'll remove the blindfold."

So he put her slowly down and removed it. As she opened her eyes the team started singing 'Happy Birthday'. A big grin appeared on her face and her eyes became big as well. The team ended and Nell stepped forwards and gave Sophia a big hug.

"I wish you a happy birthday, buttercup."

Sophia giggled as everyone took their turn hugging her and wishing her a happy birthday. From Eric, Nell and Hetty Sophia has got a new big photo book with some new photos of the team, Sophia and Deeks. But there were also photos that even Deeks didn't know. Photos from older mission. From the mission where he and Kensi posed as a couple selecting a ring. Or photos from different mornings they had spent in the bullpen being childish and laguhing.

It was Sophia's favorite present. She sat at Kensi's desk and flipped through it the whole afternoon. Deeks wanted it to be a happy day for Sophia but he just couldn't help himself. Kensi has been missing over a year now. He wondered if Kensi was alive or dead. But wouldn't he know if she was dead? Before he could fall into that black hole that was about to swallow him, Hetty appeared next to him and patted his shoulder.

"Go home, Mr. Deeks. I think that Mrs. Holly would want to be able to see Sophia and giver her a present, don't you think?"

So he had grabbed Sophia and her stuff and left. Monty stood right behind the door wagging his tail, happy that Sophia was home to scratch him. He was bringing Sophia's stuff in her room when he heard a knock on the front door.

"Come in Jas. The door is open!"

The door opend slowly and Jasmin poked her head in first, before opening the door further to step in.

"How did you know it was me?"

"I'm a Detective, I detect." A goofy grin present on his lips.

He regretted it instantly. The last time he had said that, Kensi was around. His face dropped and he felt like he would start crying. Jasmin seemed to sense that something was wrong and walked over to him and gave him a big hug.

Before either one of them could say something, Sophia came running from her room.

"Jas!"

Jasmin bent down and picked Sophia up.

"Hey sweetie." She kissed Sophia on the cheeks. "Happy Birthday! How was your day?"

Instead of answering Sophia showed Jasmin all the presents she's got. And of course she showed her the photo book more than just once.

"I have something for you too."  
>Sophia followed Jasmin back to the living room, where Jasmin gave her the present and Sophia eagerly unwrapped it.<p>

Seconds later Sophia held white bed linen with photos of Kensi and Deeks printed on them in her little hands. On the pillowcase was a photo of Kensi and Deeks together and a speechbubble that said 'Good night little princess'. Sophia unfolded the sheets on the floor in order to look at every picture that was printed on them.

Afterwards Sophia smiled broadly up at Jasmin. She didn't need to say thank you because Jasmin saw it in her eyes that she was really happy.

"Daddy! Look what Jasmin gave me."

Deeks came from the kitchen and stopped as he saw what lay on the living room floor. He couldn't hold the tears back that had threatened to fall all day.

"You don't like them daddy?"

"No, they are beautiful munchkin. You wanna put them on?"

Sophia nodded and ran off towards her room with the sheets in her hands.  
>Deeks turned towards Jasmin.<p>

"You know, I bet I won't be able to pull them off once they're on. Even if they're dirty. But they are wonderful, Jas. Thank you!"

He gave her a bone crushing hug.

"Daddy you coming?"

They lay in Deeks bed. Sophia covered in her new sheets with Monty at her feet.

* * *

><p>"That was a good birthday daddy. But it would have been even better if mommy would have been here. I don't like that man that doesn't let her go."<p>

She cuddled closer to Deeks.

"I know princess."

He tightened his hold on her and they slowly drifted of to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11 1 part

**Hey guys! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while but school was really busy. 3 more chapter til the 2 years are up ;D Hope you all stay with me at least til then... :)  
><strong>**Enjoy!**_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>4th of July 2013<em>

He opened the door.

"Nell, what are you doing here at ", he looked at his watch, " 8 in the morning?"

"I'm here to pick you up." Nell replied, blushing slightly.

Deeks had been fast asleep when Nell had knocked, so he only wore his boxers.

"Pick us up?"

"Yeah, Deeks. We're family. You didn't think that we would let you celebrate these holiday on your own, did you?" Nell raised an eyebrow.

Deeks murmured something under his breath as he turned around and walked back into the apartment, leaving Nell to follow him.

"Where's Soph?" Nell asked.

"Sleeping. She had a rough night. A couple of nightmares woke her throughout the night. You want coffee?"

He asked while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"No thanks Deeks. You know, I'll wake Soph and get her ready while you get yourself ready and then you two eat breakfast."

Deeks nodded and Nell made her way towards Sophia's room. She sat down next to the sleeping girl, whose small fist were clutching her favorite sheets. Nell started to gently wake her up.

"Hey buttercup." Nell said softly, smiling at Sophia, who had just opened her eyes. As soon as Sophia realized that it wasn't her daddy who had woken her, tears began to form in her brown eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry buttercup, I didn't mean to scare you. Your daddy is probably taking a shower right noe. He told me to get you ready so we can go to the beach and join your grandmother, okay?"

Sophia wiped her tears away and nodded. Nell got Sophia ready in record time and then carried her to the kitchen just as Deeks started to make breakfast.

"Oh no Deeks. You go and pack a bag for the two of you for the beach, and I make breakfast." She placed Sophia on the kitchen counter and then practically shoved him towards the hallway. She smiled at him before turning around and walking back in the kitchen.

"What do you want for breakfast buttercup?"

"DONUTS!"

Nell stared at Sophia in disbelieve. She wondered – not for the first time – if Sophia WAS Kensi's daughter, because they kinda have the same personality. They both love everything that has lots of sugar in it, like donuts.

"No donuts?" Sophia asked carefully.

"Hm?" Nell looked up. "Oh, sorry, buttercup. You just remind me of Kensi." She smiled.

"Mommy ate donuts for breakfast?"

"Yeah she did. But you won't get any."

"Why? That's not fair!" Sophia pouted.

"Because such a sweet girl like you doesn't need more sugar." With that Nell started tickling Sophia, who immediately started shrieking and squirming.

"I thought you were making breakfast?" Deeks stood in the hallway that led to the bedrooms, two bags thrown over his left shoulder.

"Sorry Deeks." "Sorry daddy."

They spoke at the same time causing them to start giggling all over again.

They settled on the beach, all next to each other. Callen and Hetty shared a blanket, Nell and Eric as well and of course he and Sophia. Sam spent some time with his own family since it was the 4th of July.

He helped Sophia to get rid of her clothes and then put some suncream on her skin.

"Hey sugar, you wanna build a sandcastle?" Eric called out.

Instead of answering him, she looked at Deeks who nodded. Deeks watched her running towards Eric, her pigtails bouncing up and down.

Soon Nell and Callen joined Eric and Sophia and together they built one hell off a sandcastle.

Deeks looked at Hetty who had seated herself next to him, despite the warm weather she was still wearing one of her suits.

"Excuse me my language Mr. Deeks, but you look like shit."

He laughed out loud.

"I'm serious Mr. Deeks. You are not yourself anymore. Your-" But Deeks cut her off.

"You seriously expect me to be joking and flirting while my partner is missing? After I've received a letter written in her blood. After I've seen those horrible photos of her tortured body. I haven't seen her for a whole year and roughly 3 months!"

He hadn't wanted to yell at Hetty – it wasn't her fault after all – yet he did. All the anger, fear, loss and the feeling of being useless he has experienced over the last year and some bubbled to the surface. But as fast as those feelings have approached they have subsided.

He ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

"I'm sorry Hetty. I didn't mean to yell at you. Sophia just had a rough night."

"But that's not all...Mr. Deeks?"

He sighed, of course he couldn't hide anything from Hetty. She seriously must have a sixth sense or something like that.

"No..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

**This chapter is really short. I need to rewatch an episode to write the next part of the chapter but I didn't want to make you wait any longer. So I thought I make 2 chapters out of one. And the chapter after the next one will be with Kensi again :) Please leave a review!**


	12. Chapter 11 2 part

**Hey guys, I'm back from London! And I'm so sorry that it has been quite a while...  
>School keeps me busy and I have 4 jobs besides school plus my grandma is 91 so I try to spend as much time with her as I can before it's too late. So I'm really sorry and hope you'll stick with me nevertheless. :) Enjoy this chapter and I try to bring the next one up soon.<strong>

_He sighed, of course he couldn't hide anything from Hetty. She seriously must have a sixth sense or something like that._

_"No..."_

* Flashback (1 day before) *

Sophia was over at Jasmin's making a present for someone. She haven't told him, she only said it would be a surprise and that Jasmin was gonna help her.

So he's gonna surprise his daughter with a nice dinner – her favorite one, lasagna.

He was just putting the lasagna in the oven when is phone rang. The caller ID let him know that it was an unknown number.

"Yes?"

"Marty! Hey buddy." Marty was confused. "Who is this?"

"Oh come on Marty! It's me, Ray."

"Hey Ray. You're not supposed to call me and you know that."

Ray sighed on the other end of the telephone.

"I know, I know. Just wanted to let you now that we're alright and that baby number 2 id on the way."

Deeks felt a sting of jealousy in his chest. It was not fair that Ray, who has been a criminal, had all that luck and he Deeks had not.

"That's great." Even Deeks heard the lack of joy in his voice.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"It really is great Ray. Really. It's just...uh I -"

BANG! The front door flew open.

"Daddy! Look Daddy what I've made!"

Sophia's grew louder as she came running towards the kitchen.

"I've made a photo album for mommy Kensi so she can look up at all the events she missed and Jasmin helped me and-"

She slowed down as she spotted him on the phone.

"Sorry Daddy." She said before she hopped onto a kitchen chair.

"You never called Marty and now I get to know that you have a little wikipedia." Ray pouted.

Deeks couldn't answer, it was just too much. Having his best friend mentioning Kensi's nickname...

"Marty? You still there?"

" She's missing Ray. " He whispered. "They took her and...tortured her..."

Tears streamed down Deeks face. Sophia came over and hugged his legs. He smiled at her attempt to comfort him.

"How long?" Ray's soft voice asked.

"A year and 3 months."

"Oh damn Marty, I'm so sorry. You wanna tell me about your little girl."

Deeks was glad that the other man didn't press him to talk about Kensi and started to tell Ray about Sophia.

* End Flashback*

Before Hetty could find the right words to comfort him, he heard Sophia running towards him.

"I'm starving Daddy."

They spent the afternoon building sandcastles and swimming. Everyone -except Hetty – had to take their turn in being buried by Sophia. After they've had a barbecue in the evening they watched the fireworks.

"They are beautiful Daddy."

Deeks looked at his little angel in his arms, who was watching the fireworks in awe.

"Yes they are. Just like you princess." He placed a light kiss on her cheek. She giggled turning her head to look him in the eyes.  
>"I love you Daddy." She snuggled closer and put her head in the crook of his neck.<p>

"I love you too."

As they continued to watch the fireworks, he wondered if there is till hope to find Kensi alive. He hoped and he would never stop hoping but the realistic part of him knew that the chances of her being alive were small.

**I know it was a short one and I'm not really happy with it either. Anyway the next one will be with Kensi :)**

**Linds**


	13. Chapter 12

**So here's the next one. Hope you like it and leave a review. I really have to thank you all so much for all the nice reviews =) **

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><p>September 2013<p>

It was the first time in 507 days that water ran over her skin. She had her eyes closed. A) because she wanted to savour the feeling of the fresh and warm water on her bruised, beaten and dirty body and b) because Mark was kneeling next to the tub (where she was lying in 'cause she was too weak to stand) washing her hair.

She whimpered as he entangled her hair that was all sticky with blood and sweat. It felt like he was pulling her hair out off her skull. Nevertheless, she was enjoying it, not the pain oh no definitely not the pain, but the feeling of the water on her skin and she immediately hated herself for feeling way. She wasn't supposed to feel that way, she didn't want to feel that way, yet she did.

Mark wrapped her in a towel, picked her up and carried her in "her" room.  
>He placed her on the bed and dried her off. Two years ago she would have fight, she would have never ever let him touch her. She had fought him in the beginning and then she had at least tried to but she gave up eventually.<p>

What would it matter if she fought? Deeks had moved on he didn't care about her, he even has his own family now. So why fight?  
>Mark started dressing her in fresh clothes. A gray shirt, black sweatpants and white socks. He even combed her hair. Kensi wondered what was going on, but before she could ask him, he left.<p>

She was so exhausted from the shower/bath that she soon drifted off to sleep.

She awoke when she felt the bed drop and opened her eyes. A pair of scared emerald green eyes stared right back into her mismatched brown ones. Kensi propped herself on her elbows taking in the appearance of the women next to her.

She was tall, maybe the same height as Kensi but she wasn't as slim as Kensi was. Her wrists and ankles were bound together and she had duck tape across her mouth.

Her red hair was a tangled mess and sticky with sweat. Kensi sat up and fought the dizziness that tried to engulf her. She reached out and removed the duck tape from the woman's mouth.

"Tha- thank you." The women managed to say between deep intakes of breathes. Kensi only smiled at the woman, not trusting her voice. She reached for the rope that held the woman's wrists together and tried to remove it. Moments before she was finished the door opened and Mark stormed in. His face was red with anger and he had a furious look on his face.

"Though you would knew me better by now." He muttered. Mark slapped Kensi in the face. The blow hit her so hard that stars appeared in her vision. The woman let out a scream and tried to get away from Mark as he moved towards her. She whimpered as Mark roughly put the rope back around the wrists.

"Next time you do that, I won't just slap you and you know that."  
>Kensi exhaled loudly as Mark left the room.<p>

"Are you okay?" The women asked with a concerned voice.

"Yeah, I've been through worse. Are you alright? I mean did he hurt you otherwise than kidnapping you."

"No he didn't. Uh, I'm Leanne."

She smiled sadly.

"I'm Kensi."

* * *

><p>December 2013<p>

It's been two months since Mark had kidnapped Leanne. They've grown kinda close over the past couple of weeks. Not close like they know everything about each other more like they have their backs in this hell.

"Kensi? Can I ask you something? "

"Sure."

They were sitting on the bed. Mark hadn't come by in days and they had run out of food the day before yesterday.

"You, uh, you don't have a daughter, do you?" Leanne shifted uncomfortably.

"No why do you ask?" Kensi was confused. Why would Leanne ask such a question? Kensi would have told her friend if she had family out there.

"It's just a friend of mine, who is a kindergarten teacher, told me a lot about this girl. She is only about 3 but she has already gone through so much. She told me that the little girl's mother has been kidnapped and that her father and the grandmother take care of the little girl. The little girl is full of hope. She would draw picture for her mother every day and tell everyone about her. And you know my friend showed me photos of the little girl and she looked a bit like you...and I thought that,uh, maybe she could be yours...but then LA is a big city..."

Leanne grew quiet, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"No I don't have a daughter, I don't have anyone out there looking for me."

"I can't imagine that that is true, Kensi. I'm sure someone is looking for you." Leanne put a comforting hand on Kensi arm.

"My partner... he moved on...he has a new family now...even a kid..." Kensi said between sobs, curling herself in a fetal position. Even though Leanne was curious about how Kensi could probably know something like that, she didn't ask. She just lay down besides her friend and wrapped her arms around Kensi's fragile body.

After Kensi cried herself to sleep Leanne got up and went to the sink for a glass of cold water in order to get at least something into her aching stomach. As Leanne arranged Kensi's pillow (she wanted to put Kensi on her side of the bed because she had fallen asleep in the middle of their bed) she saw them.

Under Kensi's pillow lay 4 photos. Leanne could easily identify one person: the little girl.

She assumed that the blond haired man was her father then and the elderly woman was the grandmother. But why would Kensi lie?

Leanne would ask Kensi in the morning, for now they both needed to rest.


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey there, I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Anyway here is the new chapter and I just wanted to say that I wrote this whole story before we got to know that Kensi's mother is alive and so she's dead in my story.  
><strong>

**Hope you like it =)  
><strong>

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><p>Kensi awoke to the noise of a door slamming.<p>

"What - "

She looked around and saw groceries bags on the table.

"Oh!...Leanne!"

She shook the shoulders of her friend.

"Leanne! Wake up! We have food!"

"Food?" Leanne replied sleepily.

She sat up, rubbing her eyes. She then spotted the bags.

"Food!" Leanne was out of bed and next to the table in seconds, where Kensi was already going through them.

After they each had a bowl of cereals, they were sitting on the bed again since it was the only possibility to sit.

"Why did you lie to me, Kensi?"

Kensi looked at Leanne, she was honestly confused. She couldn't remember lying to her friend, ever.

"What are you talking about?"

Leanne sighed she'd hoped that Kensi would admit it when she confronted her with it.

"I'm talking about your daughter."

"And I've already told you yesterday that I don't have one." Kensi was getting frustrated. Why kept Leanne saying that she has a daughter?

"I've found the pictures, Kensi. There's no need in lying anymore." Leanne replied softly.

Now Kensi was really confused, but as she fully registered what Leanne had said she turned angry.

"My photos are none of your damn business!" Kensi hissed.

Leanne stayed calm, sensing that there was something important with these photos.

"How did you get them?"

Kensi stayed silent. She liked Leanne but she couldn't open up to her. She barely opened up to anyone and the few ones she had opened up to had hurt her, including Deeks.

She had been so sure that Deeks loved her and she love him even though they denied their 'thing'. And it still hurt to know that he had moved on although it had been almost a year since she got those pics.

She wasn't ready to talk about it, she would probably never be ready to talk about it.

"Fine. If you don't tell me then I'm gonna tell you what I know. I've told you about these little girl yesterday remember? And you denied that she is you little daughter. And then as I was about to put you on your side of the bed I've found pictures of said little girl.

If I remember right her name is Sophia Mary Deeks-Blye. And I know that the man in the pictures is her father and the elderly women is her grandmother. He had a hard time getting used to raise Sophia on his own so another kindergartenmother helped him, that would be the blond woman in the pics.

That's what I know. And because the little girl just looks a lot like you and because you have photos of her, I ASSUME that she is you daughter. "

Leanne watched Kensi's reaction closely, who was apparently struggling with herself. Leanne stood up and went in their little dirty bathroom. As she exited it a couple of minutes later, Kensi was still sitting on their bed looking down at her hands.

"Mark gave them to me last christmas."

Leanne nearly didn't hear Kensi say those words.

"And I think I made a big mistake."

Tears were forming in Kensi's eyes.

"I thought that he moved on...that he gave up on me...that he found a new woman and fell in love again. Oh my god! I'm horrible, I just assumed that he...despite me knowing of his loyality. Are you s... are you sure that she ,uh, is just a friend?"

She looked hopefully at Leanne. Leanne walked over to the bed and sat down next to Kensi putting a comforting arm around the other woman's shoulder.

"Yeah, she's married and has a son of her own. You wanna tell me about him and your daughter?"

Kensi looked her in the eye.

"But Leanne, I seriously don't have a daughter even if the little girl has my last name..."

"Who is she then?" Leanne asked confused. "I mean look at her, she's almost a little version of you, Kensi."

Kensi just stared at the photos in front of her, but said nothing.

"Okay so maybe she is your little sister or niece or something like that?"

Kensi shook her head. "My parents are dead and I'm an only child."

Leanne remained silent, not knowing what to say anymore. Kensi shrugged Leanne's arm off of her shoulder and lay down drawing her knees to her chest. She needed time and space to think.

If someone had asked her to shoot herself a couple of hours ago she would have said yes.

She had wanted to escape this hell no matter what because back then she was sure Deeks had moved on. But now she wanted to live, she wanted to get to know these little girl that wears her name and looks like her. She'd found hope again. She had something to live for. That gave her strength and was motivation for her.

She needed a plan to escape. They needed a plan.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it. Maybe they'll find her in the next chapter...who knows ;)<strong>

**Linds  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone!**

**Eventhough I'm totally worn out because of my cousins who are twins and extremly strenuous, I did it! I wrote this important chapter =) And I have to that That Aussie Gurl for her awesome help and all the nice reviews! Thank you =)  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Deeks birthday (08.01.2014)<strong>

Eric was the only one up in Ops due to the fact that everyone else (including Nell) was down in the bullpen congratulating Deeks to his 35th birthday.  
>Like every other day for the past year and 9 months, Eric was checking if there were any news regarding Kensi, but like always he got nothing.<p>

He was about to leave and go downstairs to join the team and to congratulate Deeks when his phone rang. Eric went over to his seat and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"I'll give you ten to gather everyone in Ops?." The voice was disguised by a computer.

Eric immediately typed on his computer trying to trace the call. He needed to prevent the caller from hanging up.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the guy who has taken care of Kensi for the past year and 9 months."

Although the voice was disguised Eric could still hear the scorn in the man's voice. Just as Eric was about to ask another question he heard the phone slam down and the annoying dial tone in his ear. The call had ended but it wasn't long enough for Eric to trace it.

"Damn it!" Eric jumped out of his seat and ran out of Ops; almost falling off of the balcony as he leaned over the railing to blow his famous whistle.

"I need everyone up here! NOW! Oh, and someone get Hetty!" He turned around and went back into Ops.

The team looked at each other confused by Eric's actions. Callen went to get Hetty while the rest went upstairs to Eric.

"Mr. Beale? What is the matter?" Hetty asked, as she entered OSP last.

"I've just got a call. I don't even know how the guy got this number but obviously he did. His voice was disguised and I really tried to trace his call but it was too short. You have to believe me I really tried -"

Eric's nervous rambling was interrupted by Callen,

"Eric! Spit it out! What did he want and who was he?"

"I dunno what he wanted. He said and I quote: I'm the guy who has taken care of Kensi for the past year and 9 months."

The silence that fell over the room from that bit of news was interrupted by the phone ringing again.

This time it was Callen who picked it up, and putting the phone on speaker he said,

"Hello?"

"Hello Agent Callen. Oh, don't bother asking how I know. That's not important right now. Listen carefully because I will only say it once."

He continued to name an email account and a password before hanging up.

Eric accessed the account and found only one mail in the inbox and it just contained a link which led to a video live stream. A new window opened but the only thing that could be seen was a white wooden door.

"Ah I see you joined us," the disguised voice said from behind the camera., "I have a present for you Mr. Deeks."

The video camera moved towards the door and then it was opened, revealing nothing but darkness. The team could hear the steps of the man and then the door being closed. The lights were switched on and what they saw made them gasp.

There she was. Her wrists and ankles tied to metal poles, leaving her lying like a X. Next to her lay another woman but the team didn't know them. Both women were covered in fresh bruises and cuts, their shirts stained with blood and dirt.

"Kensi..." Deeks whispered unable to think straight.

She was so very thin. Thinner than on the last photos he had received. Deeks could have counted her ribs through her top if he had wanted to.

Kensi looked directly in the camera and then at the man behind it., "Why are you recording this?"

"Don't worry Kensi. They won't get to see this I'll record this for my own pleasure. But maybe I'll send them a photo of you when I'm finished. "He snickered which made her flinch which didn't go unnoticed be the team.

"Eric run the woman through facial recognition. I want to know who she is." Callen demanded.

"Do you two have any last words?" The man sneered.

_Last words?_ These words hit Deeks like a truck. No he couldn't mean... Deeks was brought out of his thoughts by Kensi's voice.

"I wanna know about the little girl Sophia? Who is she and why does she wear my nam-"

She was interrupted by two shots ringing out, hitting the red-haired women in the chest twice. Kensi screamed and tried to get free.

"No Leanne! You BASTARD!" She was crying and shaking.

The screen went black but the sound stayed stable. Three more shots rang out and they could hear Kensi gasp in pain.

"I...lo-love...y-you...Dee-eks."

It was almost too quiet for them to hear Kensi say those words. Time seemed to stand still as Deeks' heart broke into million pieces. The woman he loved, the woman Sophia considered as her mother was dying, right in front of him and he could only watch. Sophia... How did Kensi know about her?

The screen became clear and revealed Kensi with 3 bullet holes in her chest, one of them directly above her heart. She had her eyes half closed and there was so much blood...

"No." Deeks moaned, his legs giving out leaving him slumped on the floor. Tears were streaming down his face but he didn't care who saw them, he had just lost the love of his life. Nell joined him on the floor, hugging him and crying in his shoulder.

Hetty had grabbed onto the table to steady herself while Callen and Sam just stood there shocked with tears streaming down their faces.

"I've got a location." Eric suddenly said into the silence of the room.

TBC...

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><p><strong>Hope you all liked it =) <strong>

**Linds  
><strong>


	16. Chapter 15

Hey everyone! My hollidays were even more stressfull than a normal week during school. :D But now school is back and I have at least some boring classes where I am able to write. That's why I've almost finished the next chapter :)) Hope you like it :)

* * *

><p>"<em>I've got a location" Eric said into the silence of Ops.<em>

"Where?" Callen asked.

"A house in Fillmore, about 55 miles northwest. Coordinates are on your phones." Eric replied.

Two minutes later they were on their way to Fillmore. Hetty stayed in Ops and organized back up. The ride was silent, each of them were in their own thoughts. Callen and Sam were sure that they lost their little sister for good this time. The damage they had seen was too severe...

Deeks on the other hand still prayed for her to be okay...to be somewhat okay… to be alive. He didn't want to tell Sophia her mother had died...again.

As they arrived at the address, the team saw that the house looked like every other average house in Fillmore did.

"Eric; are you sure this is the right house?" Sam asked as he glanced through the windshield of the car.

"Yeah I am." Eric replied double checking the information.

They got out of the car and made their way towards the house.

"Deeks you stay with me, we will take the front. Sam, take the back." Callen instructed.

They all got into position and on Callen's signal they entered the house. Guns drawn, Deeks went right into the living room while Callen went left into the kitchen where he and Sam met.

"Clear!" They heard Deeks shout.

"Clear!" Sam responded before they met again in the hallway.

"I'm going upstairs" Callen said and slowly made his way up the stairs. Sam and Deeks continued to clear each room behind the doors of the long hallway downstairs. Sam and Deeks had only two rooms left to clear when Callen joined them again.

"Everything is clear upstairs. Nothing out of the ordinary: A bedroom, a bathroom, and one office."

The agents went for the door on the left hand side first. In the middle of the room stood a table and two chairs, to their left was a queen sized bed, ahead of them was a window (too high to look through) and under it a sink and a fridge. A door to their right led them into a tiny bathroom. The room was dirty, everywhere they looked they could see dust bunnies, and on the bed sheets were all kinds of stains.

On the one hand it looked like no one had cleaned the room andlived in the house for a long time, but on the other hand there were several signs of life. Fresh food in the fridge, water drops in the sink and dirty dishes on the table showed signs of human life.  
>They went back into the hallway and went straight into the last room. What they saw was beyond anything they have ever seen before. The room was dark and the walls and floor were covered in blood stains. There was a steel table in one corner with torture tools on it but what was worse was the redheaded woman in the middle of the room and the bloody spot next to her that was empty. No sign of Kensi. Deeks was still in the spot he was standing.<p>

Callen stepped towards the dead woman, spotting a piece of paper next to her, bending down he read it out loud.

"I'll keep her body for some fun and afterwards I will dump it somewhere never to be found. Happy Birthday Mr. Deeks."

"No!" Deeks sobbed. He leaned on the nearest wall for support.

Sam felt like he...he couldn't even say how he felt. He was sad and he was angry. Sad that he will never see his little sister ever again alive. Angry at that bastard who had killed his little sister.

"Guys you still there?" Nell's voice startled them.

"Yeah we found it. And we found the other woman but there's no sign of Kensi...but too much blood for her to..." G trailed of, not wanting to say it out loud.

"I want you all back in Ops Mr. Callen. Let the CSU take care of the crime scene. And that's an order!" Hetty ordered, sounding sad and distressed.

* * *

><p>(Several hours later in Ops)<p>

Everyone was gathered in Ops except for Hetty.

"I wonder how Kensi knew about Sophia." Nell asked.

"Photos." Hetty just said as she entered Ops.

She was met with 5 tired and sad glances so she explained further.

"CSU found photos of Sophia, Mr. Deeks, Mrs. Holly and us at the crime scene. That's how she knew. And I bet Ms. Leanne Nolen told her about Sophia as well. Before you ask, Ms. Nolen is the other victim and she has been friends with Mrs. Kruger, a kindergarten teacher of Sophia. However I want you all to go home and rest or whatever you need to do. Mr. Deeks, my office, please."

With that she turned around and left an even more shocked team behind. A thousand questions raced through Deeks mind. Had Mark planned all of that? Everything was connected with everything... That couldn't be a coincidence, could it?

He followed Hetty to her office and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"I'm sorry Mr. Deeks. And I'm even more sorry for what I have to tell you now. Forensics confirmed that it is indeed Ms. Blye's blood. They've found about 3 Litres which makes it too much..."

Deeks looked up, his eyes all red and puffy from all the crying.

"Hetty...please..."

"I'm sorry. All the evidence says that she's gone. I have to officially declare her as dead tomorrow morning."

Hetty's voice cracked slightly at the end.

"And there is something else, Mr. Deeks. I know that it is already much to take in but I have one more thing to tell you. When Ms. Blye went missing and you adopted little Sophia, I took some precautions, just in case. These papers are yours and Ms. Blye's wedding papers. According to them you have been married for 3 years now. I thought it would be the best, considering that you live in her house. Now go home Mr. Deeks."

She smiled sadly at him.

"Thank you Hetty." Was all he could manage to squeak out. He felt so many emotions right now. He was angry and sad, but at the same time he felt relieved that Hetty had saved him some trouble with the authorities. She had also made sure that Sophia and he didn't have to worry about money. He was now Kensi's next of kin, and everything that she owned is now his.

As he went through the bullpen, he was reminded of all the time Kensi and he had spent there. He could practically see her sitting at her desk laughing at something he had done or said.

Everything on his way back home reminded him at Kensi and at home it was even worse. He could see her sitting on her couch, getting a beer out of her fridge. And every time he realized that she would never do such a thing again his heart broke even more.

He was so lost in his memories that he almost didn't hear the knock on the door. Slowly he made his way to the door and opened it.

"Oh my god Marty! What happened? You look awful."

Jasmin asked as she followed him back to the couch, where he slumped down.

"Kensi was shot to death." He said in a small voice.

Jasmin gasped in shock. "Oh Marty I'm so sorry."

She hugged him as he began to cry again. They remained in the embrace as she listened to him telling her the events of the day. In the end she was crying as well; for the lost love of her friend and for the mother of Sophia.

"Do you want me to take care of Sophia for the night?" She offered in a soft voice. He shook his head.

"No, I need to tell her...but could you pick her up when you go and get Chris?"

"Sure Marty. I better get going then. I'll be back in an hour."

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><p>"Daddy! Look what I've made for you birthday!"<p>

Deeks had barely opened the front door as Sophia stormed inside. He quickly thanked Jasmin and then gave his full attention to the little girl hugging his legs.

"Hey there munchkin."

"Look daddy I made this for you."

She gave him a piece of paper.

"I wish it would be true. That's what I wish for your birthday."

He unfolded the paper and immediately had tears in his eyes. The drawing showed himself, Sophia and Kensi and a big table with presents and a cake with candles. They would never be able to celebrate any birthday together – as a family. He picked Sophia up and hugged her tight, walking over to the couch. He sat down and placed Sophia in his lap, her big brown eyes starred into his ocean blue ones.

"I need to tell you something. Uh...mommy...mommy won't come back to us...ever." Deeks said softly.

"Why Daddy? Doesn't she love us anymore?" Sofia asked confused.

"No princess don't you ever think that. She loves us very much, but...but that bad guy did mommy hut very bad and god decided to spare mommy any more pain and took her to heaven."

"She's dead?"

He nodded and Sophia burst into tears, clutching the front of his shirt with her hands. That evening they went to bed together, sleeping under the Sophia's favorites sheets in Kensi's bed.

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><p>Hope you all remember the sheets Sophia got as a birthday gift from Jasmin... well that are these favorites sheets ;)<br>Hope you all liked it :) Do I deserve some reviews?


	17. Final Chapter

Hey everyone! I'm really sorry for not updating earlier. But here you go :)  
>Hope you guys like it.<p>

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><p>The weather on this day in Los Angeles matched his mood. It was cold and rainy, which was exactly how he felt. The big sermon NCIS had organized was nice, but it was too impersonal for his liking. Vance and some other people had already held their speeches, they didn't even know Kensi.<p>

That's why Hetty pulled some strings and collected some favors so they could hold a small funeral. But that would be held later; right now he had to hold his speech as her husband. It felt wrong to think of himself as her husband, because they never were even together as a couple. He stepped in front of everybody, after clearing his throat he started speaking.

"The first time we met I just knew that there was something special about her. And I was proven right. She was the most stubborn and independent women I've ever known. I loved her so much and I still do, probably will for the rest of my life...It's not fair that we had only such a short time before she was ripped away from me. That was the worst time of my life. I didn't know how I would go on with my life without her. Didn't know if I wanted to. And then Sophia appeared literally out of nothing. I didn't know that Kensi had a half-sister and I bet she didn't know either. So there she stood on Kensi's doorstep. My first thought was that it must be Kensi's daughter because they look so much alike. But she wasn't. She was her niece and had just lost her mom. She had me wrapped around her little finger in record so it wasn't a question that she would stay with me. I owed it to Kensi to look after this little princess. And she gave me so much; she gave me a reason to continue with life. She's so much like you Kens..."

Although tears were streaming down his face, he smiled.

"Daddy!"

He looked up and saw Sophia coming towards him. She held her arms up as she reached him, a clear sign for wanting to be lifted off the ground.

"Hey pumpkin, everything okay?"

She nodded,

"Can I say something?"

"Err...sure if you want to."

He kissed her forehead slightly.

"I never met you mommy Kensi, but I love you and it makes me sad that you won't come back to us. It is probably better for you being in heaven than being with that horrible man. Grandma Hetty, Uncle Sam, Uncle Callen, Uncle Eric, Aunt Nell and Daddy told me so much about you. And I really miss you mommy and I know that Daddy does too, he cries a lot. Was that okay Daddy?"

She looked at him with big brown eyes. Deeks smiled through his teas at his beautiful little daughter,

"That was beautiful, pumpkin."

Not knowing what to say anymore, he headed towards his seat.

Just as he had asked, the song_ Far Away_ by Nickelback was played.

This time, This place  
>Misused, Mistakes<br>Too long, Too late  
>Who was I to make you wait<br>Just one chance  
>Just one breath<br>Just in case there's just one left  
>'Cause you know,<br>You know, you know

That I love you  
>I loved you all along<br>And I miss you  
>Far away for far too long<br>I keep dreaming  
>You'll be with me<br>And you'll never go  
>Stop breathing if<br>I don't see you anymore

Hetty stood up to hold her speech. She slowly made her way to the front as the last tunes of the song played,

"I knew the moment they met, that they would make great partners – both in live and their jobs. And I was proven right. They did make a great couple; they were good for each other. Teasing each other, driving each other insane but always there if the other one was in need for something. It was always funny watching them bicker and deny their 'thing'. But then they stopped denying and just clicked. We were all really happy as they married 3 years ago and respected their wishes to keep it secret..."

He didn't know what the rest of Hetty's speech was about. All he could think of was Kensi – like always. When Hetty finished her speech she joined her team in the first row and little Sophia crawled on her lap to wipe the tears away. Deeks had to double check, because Hetty just doesn't cry.

The rest of the sermon went by pretty fast. After it was over a lot of people came to Deeks and said they were sorry.

When everyone else was gone the little group made their way to lower Kensi's casket in the grave. Since they hadn't found her body the casket was empty. But they still wanted to bury something, just so they could say goodbye. One after another, they stepped forward throwing red roses on the casket. Deeks and Sophia were the last one. They remained there long after the others were gone.

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><p>There she was, sitting in a dark, sticky room. Tears streaming down her face while she watched her own funeral. It was the most horrible thing ever! On second thought it was only the second most horrible thing because the first one was faking her own death. But to her defense, she did it to save Deeks and Sophia. Mark had told her he would hurt or even kill her if she didn't play along. And he had planned it all, every tiny detail. All the blood he had taken from her was for faking her death. After he had shot Leanne, which she didn't know would happen; he made the camera go fuzzy and shot in the air a couple of times to fake her being shot. Then she had to change her clean shirt for one with blood and bullet holes in it. It was horrible. But she didn't want Deeks or that little innocent girl being killed. She loved him too much to be selfish. So what, she would never see him again, but at least he was alive.<p>

Mark had brought the laptop in earlier before he left to go to the funeral. He took a little camcorder with him so he could be able to broadcast it all to Kensi. It was weird seeing Deeks go to the front of the church, knowing it was happening at the very same moment. She listened to him and even had to smile as he called her stubborn. Wait what was that? She nearly fell off the chair. Half-sister?! Kensi was confused. She didn't have any siblings...that she knew of. How could that be? But at least she now knew where that little girl came from. And it totally made sense that they looked some kind of alike. That sweet girl was her little niece! A warmth spread in her heart as Deeks told the crowd that he couldn't let Sophia go into the system. It was so kind of him but she guesses that that is just how Deeks is. She couldn't believe that anyone else would just adopt a girl, because they felt like they owed someone.

"...mommy Kensi but I love you..."

Those words pulled her back to reality with such force that she gasped for air. She was overwhelmed by so many emotions right now, the love from her little niece/daughter who she had never met. She was glad that she faked her death to save this little girl, but on the other hand it broke her heart to see Deeks so heartbroken and lost as he walked towards his seat. The song was saying all those thing they never dared to speak out aloud. It was beautiful but sad. She didn't hear everything Hetty said because she was sobbing so hard. But she did see the tears everyone was shedding because of her. It made her cry harder and all she wanted to do was going there and telling them she was alive. She cried for her lost sister, for her lost love, for her lost family...just for everything. Life can be so cruel sometimes and she wondered what it has planned next for her.

THE END

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><p>Don't worry there will be a sequel ;)<p>

Thanks to all of you and especially to my awesome beta reader ;)

Linds


	18. Author's Note

Hey there. I just wanted to let you know that I published the sequel :) It's called **Life goes on without you. **Enjoy! :)

And a BIG thank you for all your reviewss and alerts and that stuff! :)

Linds


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